What does it mean to be hearty?
We are bombarded with the idea that the pursuit of
happiness requires us to achieve, acquire, impress,
This puts us on a path of relentless "self-improvement"
- which is really just a form of self-bullying that often leads
back to dissatisfaction.
To be hearty is to take an OTHER path to a
healthy and meaningful life. The dictionary
definition of hearty - "robust and nourishing" -
points to a something more substantial than
chasing after comfort and pleasure. The hearty
approach to life focuses on wellbeing, connection
and fulfillment by leveraging the two greatest strengths
of our human heart - courage and kindness.
The five components of a hearty mindset:
Discomfort is inevitable
We are simply not biologically built to feel good all the time. If you live inside a human body, you are going to feel physical, emotional, and psychological discomfort - no matter how accomplished, popular, wealthy, or admired you are.
Struggle is added
When discomfort shows up, our first instinct is often to contract, avoid, blame, or complain. We put energy into resisting and escaping that is ineffective and unnecessary. This is energy that could go into purposeful effort to address the challenge we are facing.
Love is available
We have access to powerful internal resources such as love, gratitude, joy, and wonder at all times. Rather than waiting until circumstances trigger these emotions, we can experience love whenever we choose to be loving.
Everything is practice
The human brain is constantly rewiring itself based upon our behavior. Where we focus our attention and energy during the day determines which connections are built in our nervous system. We don't just get better at the things we want to - we get better at whatever we do repeatedly.
Enough right now
You have all the internal resources you need to deal with whatever you are facing or will face in the future. You always have. You do not need to be "fixed" or "improved." You are free to develop and strengthen your skillset, but that doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you.
The five practices for a hearty skillset (O.T.H.E.R):
Opening and Observing
This is the skill of awareness and acceptance.
By paying attention to our posture and breathing -
by meeting whatever is happening within us and
around us without resistance, we create space
for clarity and ease.
This is the skill of compassion and confidence.
By acknowledging what we are feeling and
finding faith in our ability to work with it, we can
build our capacity to face uncertainty and
challenge of all kinds.
This is the skill of connection and service.
By listening, understanding, supporting and
communicating assertively, we can meet the
human needs for psychological safety, belonging, and mattering.
This is the skill of cultivating and accessing positive internal states such as gratitude, wonder, joy, and love. These broadening emotions allow us to be with challenging experiences more peacefully and purposefully.
The path of purposeful action. Responding is the skill of choosing where to put attention and energy based on values, goals, commitments, and relationships
When we discover that we really can trust our heart - our inherent goodness, courage, wisdom & wholeness - then we can take off our armor and finally experience the deep connections that have always been available & for which we have always longed.
Feelings do not create struggle. Struggle is a
direct result of our attempts not to feel.
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